The wildly successful drugs that don't work

Boys, girls, men and women — they all have one thing in common: If they’re taking any drug at all, it’s almost bound to be a daily dose of happy pills.

New numbers from the CDC show the market for antidepressants has exploded beyond even the wildest drug industry fantasies — up 400 percent since 1988, with the biggest growth among those who might end up using them the longest.

Teens.

Nothing like getting someone started on a lifelong habit early, right?

After all, that’s what this is really about — and teens, always bummed about something anyway, represent the perfect marketing opportunity: Their use of these meds quadrupled over 20 years.

The dark side of depression meds

But you’d have to be clinically insane to let your own kids take these meds, because the same antidepressants that can’t even beat placebos in many studies can actually INCREASE the risk of suicide in that very age group.

On the other hand, parents are too busy popping their own pills to notice — and, sorry ladies, but that’s especially true of mom: A quarter of all women between 40 and 59 are now on antidepressants, and I’d bet my white jacket that many of them are operating under the delusion that these drugs can help with menopause.

They can’t. As I’ve explained before that’s just a myth being pushed to sell still more meds to still more people who don’t need them.

Truth is, most cases of depression in any age or gender come from one of two main causes:

sad events
poor nutrition.

No pill in the world will bring back a dead relative, un-fire you from your job, help you find a mate, or cure teen angst… so you’re just going to have to deal with those issues the way we have for centuries: on your own.

But if you’re suffering from a more general case of the blahs, odds are you’re just missing out on the key B vitamins needed to regulate mood.

If that’s your story, don’t visit your doctor — and don’t even think about calling a shrink. Drop by the butcher instead and order up a supply of the fattiest steaks he has on hand — the tastiest natural source of B vitamins — and grill your blues away.