Is lactose intolerance all in your head?

You’re not lactose intolerant — just mentally ill!

There — feel better?

I didn’t think so — but researchers behind a new study claim that most people who think they have the condition really don’t. They’re just head cases — and their mental problems are the real reason for their rotten guts.

And who knows? That might even be true to some extent.

But who cares — you CAN have your milk and drink it, too, if you know what to drink… and that’s true whether you’re really lactose intolerant, or only think you are.

More on that in a moment.

First, the new study: Italian researchers tested 102 people — 77 women — who believed they were lactose intolerant, and found only a third of them really were.

The rest showed signs of the psychological problems that are often linked to gastrointestinal issues, according to a Digestive Disease Week presentation.

Now, I have no doubt that lactose intolerance is badly overdiagnosed.

But c’mon… mental problems, two thirds of the time — is that the best they can do?

I won’t get into the hows and whys of the lactose tolerance test, which involves drinking lactose and blowing up balloons (really) — but I will say it’s so sensitive that it can be thrown off by a butterfly flapping its wings in the Amazon… or at least an antibiotic prescription taken a month earlier.

Water, vitamins, seafood — even running to the clinic to make your appointment on time can all mess up the results, so it’s not what I’d call a perfect test.

But like I said earlier, none of this really matters — because most victims of the dairy blues can chug milk until they start to moo… if they drink the right stuff.

That means making a break from pasteurized supermarket swill and switching to farm-fresh raw milk.

Not only is the real thing loaded with the friendly bacteria and enzymes needed to aid dairy digestion, but it also delivers more crucial nutrients per sip than anything else you could possibly raise to your lips.

It’s nature’s leading cure for everything from allergies to autism — and more people are discovering the benefits every day.

The only problem is finding it.

It can’t be sold in supermarkets and, in some places, it can’t be sold at all — but there are ways to get it if you know where to look, and you can start your search right here.